Ponderosa to the Extreme

Some of you know my family. Some of you even know our term for when things just go from bad to worse, we Davidsons call it "Ponderosa". Today was Ponderosa at it's worse:

I'm sick with some sort of cold that won't go away. Chris agreed to take care of dinner tonight, but he has a big test in the morning and got out if the office late (Ponderosa 1), so he thought it would increase his study time if we went out to eat dinner and then he could come home and study. All went well until we arrived home and Chris went to turn on the water faucet. No water (Ponderosa 2). Now, I have to say in our neighborhood this is not an uncommon occurrence. The water company is always around somewhere on our street fixing broken pipes. Our neighbor came over to tell us the news - right after lunch today he went out and saw a water break in our front yard, exactly 5 minutes after Chris and I had left the house on our way back to work (Ponderosa 3). Being the wonderful neighbor he is, he turned off our water at the meter so we wouldn't have to pay for a water leak. Well, Chris gets on the phone with the city water company. She asks where the break is and when Chris tells her, she seems all too excited to tell us "The City is responsible for the pipes from the street to the meter. From the meter to the house is the homeowner's responsibility." Then she bade us a good evening.... Right. (Ponderosa 4.)

By this time it is nearly 8 pm. By the time we call our landlord and give him the good news and call our realtor and give her the good news it is nearly 9 pm. Chris hasn't studied yet. We have the world's best landlord (and I'm not just saying that because they know about the blog - they truly are a huge blessing to our family and have been ever since we arrived in Fort Worth 5 years ago), and we have the world's best realtor (and she doesn't have the blog address, she is really the best) - but there isn't a plumber that will come out and dig up your yard at 9 pm and try to fix your water problem (Ponderosa 5). So, our landlord offered us their spare rooms, but we as a family decided this would be a fun adventure - like camping, only we have electricity, cable TV, and a wireless network. Besides, by the time we got settled somewhere else, Chris would have lost more study time. So we settle in at our house.

If this were a horror movie, this would be the part where the audience in the theater started saying "Don't stay in the house! Get out of the house!" Unfortunately our lives don't have a live studio audience and we couldn't see that Ponderosa was going to get worse.

The first thing is that, although there are five different varieties of cold beverages in the refrigerator, suddenly everyone HAD to have ice water (Ponderosa 6). I told Chris several times we just bought a pack of bottled water two nights ago for my office that I hadn't taken in to work yet - it was still in the trunk. A few minutes later I see Chris in the kitchen, defrosting ice cubes in the microwave. I must have told him about the bottled water in some language other than English, perhaps French... So he tells me I never said anything about the bottled water and sends me out to the Expedition to get water. I take Wilson along for help. I'm barefoot and pregnant, he's a three year old who is mad that I have called him outside while he is watching his favorite cartoon. He runs off and leaves me - I shout after him to tell his father to come help. Apparently I am still speaking French. Help never comes.

The driveway is sloped from the garage down to the street. I am 5'4". The Expedition no longer has that handy little strap that hangs down from the hatch to help short people shut it once it is open, thanks to Callie who chewed it off back in July (Ponderosa 7). I get stuck somewhere between the hatch and the ground, barefoot, pregnant, and in my dress from work, a short dress so now I just know my rear is visible to anyone who should pass on the street (Ponderosa 8). Just when I think I'm going to be stranded between an Expedition hatch and the earth forever, Chris comes out to see what in the world is taking me so long with that water.

We get inside. The dogs are fighting over a bone, even though we purchased plenty of bones for each dog - they just want to fight over that one. Callie has gone into heat, one month before she is scheduled to be spayed (Ponderosa 9). Wilson decides he can't possibly go to bed without a bubble bath though most nights he couldn't care less, Chris still hasn't started studying, and I'm thinking we will never, ever be able to go camping because we will kill each other in a tent. Then, we realize Wilson is missing - he is in the bathroom, "going". I get sick and need to vomit, but there's not a trash can handy, the one toilet in the house is occupied, and Chris is threatening to carry me outside if I "don't get a handle on the nausea" (Ponderosa 10).

Finally we decide the only thing we can do is break down and laugh about this. After all, this was just one night without water - you should see us when our electricity goes out for 30 minutes...