Instructions from Your Mom

We have things at our home that we teach our son because we feel they are important life lessons. Right now he's a child and those things we impart to him are things like "Brush your teeth twice a day", "Wash your hands", "Put the toilet lid down everytime", "Share", "Listen to your teachers". Just basic things to make sure our son grows up to be an upstanding and healthy young man when we ship him off to college in 14 1/2 years.

Last night I was ironing and watching the news. Suddenly I realized we needed to ammend our other list of things to teach our child once he does go off to college and sets out on his own. I want to make sure all of the foundational things we teach him help him become a polite and responsible man. This isn't a final list of things we need to go over with him when he enters adulthood, but just a few important things, and two new things we needed to add after watching the news last night.

• Wear sunscreen every time you go outside for a long period of time.
• Always hold the door open for ladies. No matter what they look like.
• Never try to beat a moving train across the tracks. The train wins and you don't want to try to prove Mama wrong on this one.
• There's always someone worse off than you are. Find them and help them.
• Before you decide to go and protest a war you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Poppy on Vietnam or with Uncle Jonathan on Iraq.
• Vote whether its the Presidential election or a schoolboard election because both are important.
• Wear your seatbelt and make everyone in the car with you put theirs on.
• When you are getting married and the minister says "for richer, for poorer" you just keep in mind that "poorer" is going to happen a whole lot earlier and more often than the "richer" part.
• Electricity, haircuts, and medical operations are things that need to be handled by professionals.
• If you're ever in the French Quarter in New Orleans and you see a weather radar that shows a large, red and purple circular mass headed for you, drop the beignets and whatever else and evacuate. Immediately.
• If you're ever in the French Quarter and don't take the above advice and instead I see you, the child I delivered into this world, on CNN holding a beignet in one hand and a hurricane drink in the other, telling the Hurricane to "bring it on" you had better hope and pray that Hurricane gets to you before Mama does. The hurricane may head east at the last minute and spare your life - but I won't.

So there's the beginning of the list of things Chris and I need to remember to teach Wilson as he enters manhood. It's just a start...