The Ten Scientific Proofs of Bluebonnets

Saturday we drove out to Ennis, Texas. Ennis is home of the Annual Bluebonnet Festival in Texas. The population of this small, Texas town quadruples the third weekend in April. Otherwise quiet country roads are jam-packed with couples - one holding a map, the other trying to drive and make out names on road signs. We've been going to Ennis to get our bluebonnet photos for three years now. That gives me the right to tell you, our family and friends, the "truths" I have learned about seeking out bluebonnets:

1. The best, easiest accessible bluebonnet patches are packed with men wielding large cameras. These men appear in the margins of all your best photos.
2. The best, easiest accessible bluebonnet patches have "trample holes" from everyone sitting, walking, and posing their children and their dogs in them.
3. The best, untampered with bluebonnet patches are all behind a fence that says "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent allowable", "Beware of Dog", or "Beware of Bull".
4. The second best, untampered with bluebonnet patches are in the back side of a field that you have to hike across.
5. Bluebonnet patches are guarded by several thousand fire ant hills.
6. If you tell a three year old on the way across a field to a patch of bluebonnets "Watch out for fire ants", said three year old will cease in his ability to walk - he will cry and demand that his mother carry him.
7. His mother will end up wearing sandals with heels on them that day because in the past we've never had to hike for bluebonnet patches (we've gone the weekend before the festival, apparently). This creates difficulty hiking and carrying a three year old while trying to avoid fire ants and any other "critter" that may be under the knee-high weeds.
8. If you ask your husband to carry his child because you wore sandals with heels you will get a lecture on appropriate footwear. You can then say that you were born and raised in a city, with concrete "woodland trails". It will not do you any good.
9. Once you finally get to the patch of bluebonnets, three year old will cry and say "No more pictures today." You will discuss with your mate how to best get these photos: punish, threaten, or bribe.
10. We don't know why Wendy's created a 99 cent menu. We thank them for putting a 99 cent Frosty on that menu. Three year old boys will do anything - including smile in the bluebonnets for several hours - to get a 99 cent Frosty from Wendy's.